I hate CSI Miami. I only watch it cause my wife watches it. To amuse myself, I just imagine how Horatio Caine would die someday in the series.
I hate this character so much. It's very easy to despise the guy even on sight alone. David Caruso looks as if he's spent his time in career limbo trapped in a experimental science lab where they removed all internal organs from his body thru his anus until all is left is a shriveled husk of a man. His face is always in danger in caving in on itself, with his wrinkles giving his face an eerie resemblance to a post-nuclear war bombed up landscape. He walks with a slouch. He covers his shrunken pea-sized eyes with a pair of shades that make his head even more like a shrunked head rejected by Voodoo priests. But that is before he opens his mouth.
This freak of a character thinks he's God or something. He speaks like he's always right and he wants you to know it. And the dialog he deliver makes me cringe. He has a way of stating information in such a way that he ends it in a question except that he doesn’t expect you to answer him. A few examples: "This proves that she died here……doesn’t it?" or "She’s listening to someone….isn’t she?" He does this about six times during an episode.
As if that's not enough the show sometimes depicts him as some sort of a superhero. I wont be surprised if they end up killing the character then rising him from the dead after three days. Damn David Caruso, damn Jerry Bruckheimer.
My only consolation is that he is not nor will he ever be Chuck Norris.
