Before I became an altar boy I was your usual active naughty boy. But when I started serving at church that is when I became naughtier. I was a prankster but as an altar boy I learned some really nasty pranks. My co-altar boys tend to play pranks at each other with one trying to top the last one.
One day my cousin from the US gave me a packet of itching powder. I saw unlimited potential for this. So I went to the lockers and sprinkled some powder on the other altar boys uniform (kind’da like that of a priests frock). When the evening service was up I seated myself in the front pew, excited to see the effect of the powder on the assigned altar boy. As expected he was squirming on his chair like a worm crawling on salt. His face was beet red and he looked like crying. He can’t stand still and he kept swaying from side to side rubbing his back to the chair. Somehow the powder must’ve reached his crotch because he was trying to secretly scratch his balls (he was unsuccessful). The old maids in the front pew almost fainted when they noticed that one of the altar boys crotch area was shaking as if the poor boy was doing something underneath the frock. I was having a hard time trying not to laugh. I wasn’t able to finish the mass since I was giggling uncontrollably at the sight of the poor guy.
He managed to finish the service then burst out crying as he scratched himself raw at the locker area. I told the other guys about the prank so we went inside the locker and laughed at the guy. He was so mad….
Then he decided to get even. He got some poison Ivy, went to locker and rubbed the leaves on the first frock he saw. I will be serving that night.
At the start of the service he seated himself at the front pew. He was already giggling before we were even seated near the altar. He kept waiting for us to start wriggling but none of us seem to be affected by the poison ivy. Then we noticed the priest scratching fervently at the back of his neck. He was sweating and his neck looked raw. That day, he gave the shortest sermon in his entire career as a priest. He was saying the prayers at a very fast rate like he was machine-gunning all the parishioners. He was saying his Hail Mary’s like any minute now the apocalypse would come. The mass was over in 20 minutes. After the mass, he was brought to the hospital for treatment.
There was an investigation done as to who put the poison ivy on the priests frock. Thank goodness God never squealed on us. My evilness grew.
Note: the writer is an agnostic and is writing on the basis of his beliefs when he still had religion.
